Delivered with
confidence.
The crate is on its way. Please stand somewhere other than directly beneath it.
These delivery promises are as fictional as the merchandise. No real orders, charges, or shipments are created.
Returns, repairs & reasonable questions
My purchase has developed a mind of its own.
Return it in the original crate, if the crate is still willing to participate. Include a short description of the problem and which direction the product was last seen heading.
What if I no longer have the packaging?
A detailed diagram will do. For packaging currently in orbit, please include the approximate altitude and whether it appears likely to return on its own.
Can I return a Fold-Out Doorway?
Yes. Fold it carefully and label the outside of the package. Please do not close it while the returns department is still walking through.
Can I cancel an order?
The demo cart does not place real orders. You can change quantities, remove an item, or empty the cart at any time before completing the fictional checkout.
Where is customer service?
Our fictional customer-service desk is temporarily covered in warehouse parts from the latest magnet trial. In the meantime, the field notes may explain what happened.